Guide to Dating Chinese Women While Traveling
Imagine you’re on a trip in China, meet someone special, fall in love, and build a life together.
What a dream, right? But reality isn't as easy-breezy as a Hallmark movie. Responsibilities and differences can get in the way. And it doesn’t help that most travel romances are only short-term. You promise to keep in touch, but the connection ends once you hop back on a plane to return home.
With these challenges in mind, you might wonder how to find a Chinese girlfriend during your trip to The Red Dragon—and, more importantly, how to nurture the relationship for the long term. Read on to learn some tips on dating Chinese women while traveling.
How Can You Get a Date in China
Chinese women are open to dating foreign men. But where can you find women who match your preferences? How do you approach them?
Similar to how you plan your travel itinerary, you also need to lay the groundwork for romance. Here are two ways to get a date in China:
Take a Warm Approach
You might be familiar with the cold approach. It’s when you walk up to a woman (who is a complete stranger) with the intention of being romantically involved with her.
It sometimes works. But here’s a more effective way to date:
Before your trip, register on a dating app/site and set your location to China. Make sure you indicate in your profile how long you’re staying in the country and what your intentions are. Then, start swiping and set up dates with your matches.
This is a “warm approach,” and it’s beneficial for the following reasons:
This saves you time.
No more initiating conversations that end up in rejections. Remember, you’re only in the country for a limited number of days. You need to make each one count.
You already have “built-in connections.”
Unlike in your hometown, you have a limited or non-existent social network in China. And how can you get a date when you don’t know anyone around?
You can focus on assessing compatibility.
If your Chinese matches agree to meet in person, you can assume they’re already attracted to you in some way. Now, you just need to know whether your beliefs, values, and goals align.
Join a Singles Group Tour
Dates don’t just come pouring in the moment you land in the country. In the first place, it’s difficult to determine at one glance who’s single or taken, or who’s marriage-minded or only looking for a casual affair.
Fortunately, there are group tours to China for singles looking for serious, long-term relationships.
Shenzhen Women is an international matchmaking agency that organizes such tours. For over 30 years, we’ve not only helped singles connect with each other online, but also created ways for them to meet in person.
We conduct thorough background checks on the participants and curate activities that bring them closer.
Sign up for our service to meet and connect with potential matches while traveling.
What Should You Do When Dating Chinese Women?
Dating Chinese women requires an understanding of their local culture.
Some beliefs and practices might seem strange and confusing to you. But being aware of them can help block potential problems. Add respect, patience, and participation to the mix, and you’re likely to develop strong relationships.
With this, here are some things you should keep in mind:
Do Pre-Date Research
Where should you go for dates? How can you get there? What can you expect upon arriving at the location?
It’s nice to rely on the locals. But when it comes to dating, you should know how to take the lead. Fill in the gaps in your knowledge by researching the city and its offerings.
Look up popular date locations, familiarize yourself with public transit, and know your way around town.
Follow Societal Etiquette
China is a hierarchical society. Many rules and practices are in place to show respect to superiors and elders. This includes greetings, forms of address, and sitting arrangements.
Since you’re a foreigner in their country, it’s only right that you do as the locals do, especially since they’re strict about following etiquette and protocols.
Otherwise, an article from The China Culture Corner states that you risk being viewed as “difficult, uncultured, or annoying, and will find it hard to develop lasting relationships.”
Adjust Expectations for Physical Intimacy
A restrained demeanor from your date doesn’t necessarily mean she dislikes you; it’s just part of her culture.
The same article above states that traditional Chinese beliefs emphasize sù zhì or character. And one of the elements that make up this concept is modesty, wherein “the average Chinese person will generally not attempt to make waves, or to make themselves stand out overtly when compared to others.”
This concept explains why Chinese women are often reserved, especially when it comes to public displays of affection.
You may be used to certain things on a first date, but adjust your expectations when dating in another country. Expect nothing more than maybe a peck on the cheek and possibly a little hand-holding.
Present Yourself Well
Chinese women are particular about their and their date’s social standing. This all boils down to mianzi or the cultural concept of “face,” wherein a person’s actions affect their reputation.
One shouldn’t make a fool of oneself. They should avoid public criticism, redirect disagreements, and only hang out with “accepted” people.
This concept extends to outward appearances. One should dress neatly and modestly.
So, if you don’t want to “lose face” in front of your date, put effort into your appearance.
Overcome the Language Barrier
In major cities like Shenzhen, you’ll encounter numerous dialects, including Cantonese, Mandarin, Hokkien, and Teochew.
So, don’t just speak English with the locals. Not everyone speaks it in preference to their own dialect. It helps to learn a few phrases in Chinese so you can effectively communicate with your dates.
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Life is filled with chance encounters and opportunities. While some can lead to minor misfortunes, others can lead to love. But that doesn’t mean you should simply rely on the power of serendipity and go with the flow.
A little effort goes a long way in dating Chinese women. Maximize your opportunities by taking the tips above to heart.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the "warm approach" for dating while traveling?
The "warm approach" involves reaching out to someone with whom you already have a connection or who has shown interest in you. An example of this is registering on a dating app/site before your trip, setting your location to China, and arranging dates with matches. This saves time and ensures you already have potential connections waiting when you arrive.
How is physical intimacy viewed in Chinese dating culture?
Physical intimacy is generally approached with modesty and restraint due to the cultural emphasis on sù zhì (character). Expect limited public displays of affection, possibly just a peck on the cheek or hand-holding, especially during the early stages of dating.
Why is it important to dress well for a date in China?
Dressing neatly and modestly is important because of mianzi (the concept of "face" or social reputation). Your appearance reflects on your date, and presenting yourself well ensures neither of you "loses face" in public.
Should I learn some Chinese phrases before traveling to date in China?
Yes, learning a few phrases in Chinese is highly recommended. Not everyone speaks English, so learning the local dialect helps overcome the language barrier and shows respect for the culture.
What should foreigners keep in mind when dating in China?
Research popular date locations and the city's public transit before your trip. Knowing your way around and taking the lead on logistics shows competence and effort.
Are there special tours for singles looking for Chinese partners?
Yes, some international matchmaking agencies, such as Shenzhen Women, organize group tours to China specifically for singles seeking serious, long-term relationships. These tours vet participants and curate activities to create higher chances of finding love.
References
Upton, Sean. 2013. “Proper Character and Behavior – The China Culture Corner.” The China Culture Corner. https://chinaculturecorner.com/2013/06/05/proper-character-in-china/.
Custer, Charles. 2025. “'Face' Culture in China.” ThoughtCo. https://www.thoughtco.com/face-culture-in-china-687428.
