Passionate or Compassionate: Which Love Style do Chinese Women Prefer
Love - you can receive a hundred different definitions for it if you ask a hundred individuals. Pondering on the word generates a range of feelings, from delight and satisfaction to hurt, betrayal, and jealousy, depending on one’s experience.
All of these feelings may be felt when we love or are loved by someone - the positive side considerably more so. Nobody likes to be hurt, sad, or jealous. This is why, in relationships, most of us go to great lengths to ensure that it is fulfilling.
Despite this, failure is unavoidable.
We express love in the manner in which we would like to be loved, assuming that this is also how our partners would like to be loved. This is how selfish people can be. This is one of the reasons why couples split up when they are not appropriately discussed. That’s why it’s crucial to understand what kind of love others demand from us.
The Love Theory
What exactly is love? Love is blind? Love is air? Love is… well, love?
If you’re dating in China and you ask a Chinese woman this question, she will most likely associate love with marriage or commitment, as Chinese dating etiquette already involves marriage even in the earlier days.
But Psychologist Robert Sternberg, on the other hand, sees love as a triangle with three sides: intimacy, passion, and commitment - all of which are required for love to exist.
Despite this common formula, women in general develop unique triangles with varying lengths on each side based on their preferences. Some of them like to be more committed, while others like to receive or show love passionately.
Because of this, the issue of “How can I successfully communicate my love?” arises.
As a result, it’s critical to understand the love style of the woman you’re dating so you can adjust to her requirements. But how do you go about defining this? When love is such a vast concept, and there are hundreds of ways to communicate it.
Luckily, Psychologist Elaine Hatfield has defined two types of love in order to make our (love) life easier.
Passionate love
Have you ever felt compelled to be with her at all times? Hold her close and never let go? Have you ever felt a surge of excitement when you’re going to see her?
Hatfield referred to this exhilaration or intense feeling of love as “Passionate love.” This is when you’re usually thinking about your partner. And, for the most part, this love is based on sexual attraction — that deep desire to be with someone.
A Chinese woman who enjoys this style of love expresses her affection mostly through physical intimacy. Spending more time holding her, kisses, embraces, and other forms of affection are all essential.
The need for physical closeness as an expression of affection is one of the most common signs of a passionate relationship. And a lack of such will cause couples to doubt whether or not they are still in love.
Passion is necessary to relationships, but not enough
The disadvantage of a passionate love style is that it is easily confused with infatuation or a passing interest for someone. Having strong feelings for someone does not guarantee that you will have a long-term relationship with them.
Doesn’t love necessitate passion?
It absolutely does, but passion as the basis or foundation of your relationship isn’t going to last forever. Passion is like a candle. It’s hot while it’s burning, but it eventually goes out. A relationship shouldn’t be based just on passion.
It’s risky to be excessively passionate. It may be initially pleasurable to enter into a really passionate relationship. But, if the passion has faded, what will happen? The absence of actual connection will leave you feeling empty.
Worse still, you may feel compelled to satisfy your desire for passion outside of the partnership. Relationships can be destabilized by relying solely on emotion.
Compassionate love
A compassionate love style or companionate love is, regrettably, boring.
It’s not as wild or as intense as passionate love. Instead, it is comfortable since it’s based on mutual respect, trust and affection. So sure, it’s boring, but in certain ways it’s more authentic.
She won’t feel the need to display affection as frequently in this type of relationship since she knows she’ll always have you by her side to rely on.
Some people may find this dull or unexciting when compared to a passionate relationship. But isn’t it true that having this sort of connection provides you a sense of safety and security, which is what you should really want in a relationship?
Relationships must be mature
While there is no universal definition for what it means to be “in love,” on some level, it appears to be "the feeling of delight of being with another person.” Love is the warmth or comfort of knowing that you have someone who will always be there for you.
That is exactly what a compassionate love style is. It is more mature, more enduring, and it can survive the test of time more when compared to passionate love. Companionate love is most common in individuals seeking long term relationships.
To get a relationship off to a good start, you’ll need passion. But a warm and comfortable form of intimacy between partners is a greater predictor of satisfaction in relationships.
Chinese Women’s Love Style
So, which of these two sorts of love do Chinese women prefer?
Marriage and family remain important aspects of Chinese society, with most Chinese people expecting they will find a mate. In general, Chinese women are expected to marry at a younger age, while their reproductive capability is still at its height.
As a result, the vast majority of them want commitment. Most of them would like to be in a steady, comfortable relationship rather than have a passionate, yet perhaps fleeting, romance with someone.
While this is true, interactions with them should not be characterized by a lack of passion. For a relationship to last, it is still required. Always keep in mind that if one of the triangle’s sides is absent, the triangle will not exist.
